Are you in the stage of life where days are short, nights are long, and sometimes you don’t get to have a conversation with your wife let alone a chance to do something that can really impact your marriage for years to come?
Most of the husbands of the wives who do The Respect Dare or take Daughters of Sarah® tell us the same thing: “I am inspired to be a better man because of what she has learned to do for me.” And on occasion, a husband has also been known to ask, “How can I better express love to my wife?” In an effort to help these men, we have put together this small list, derived from wives whose husbands have begun demonstrating love more effectively, and from some of the wives on our Respect Dare community page on Facebook®.
This list is a list of ideas for ways to love your wife when your kids are young.
1. Encourage her to go see her sister or friend, or whoever else is important to her every so often.
2. Do something new with her. Ever played disc golf? Or gone roller skating? Or eaten Indian food?
3. Tell her she is more beautiful today than the day you met her.
4. Smile at your kids. A lot.
5. Ask her to find you a highly rated book on being a better dad or husband – then read it and let her know what you’ve learned. Then start implementing it.
6. Go with her to birthing classes and hospital tours. She wants to know you’re excited about being a dad.
7. Take special time with each kid to do something they enjoy. Make this a monthly habit.
8. Think of something you could teach her or help her do – like swinging a golf club or a tennis racquet. Use these opportunities to touch her gently.
9. Help her put her coat on by holding it for her. Be patient as she adjusts her hair or scarf.
10. Know you don’t have to solve her problems. Listening and showing her empathy matters more to her sometimes.
11. Make sure she feels encouraged to update her wardrobe. Buy her a gift card from her favorite clothing store and encourage her to take the afternoon to go shopping. Bonus points if you offer to watch the kids while she shops.
12. Don’t compare her body now with the body she had before kids. Find something about her now that you love and focus on that.
13. Take her on a moonlit walk. Hold her hand. Stop once in a while just to kiss her.
14. Be proactive about taking care of work around the house every week. Make it a habit.
15. Use Sunday afternoons to ‘catch up’ with each other from the week, not on work. Spend time together, napping, cuddling, talking, or playing a game.
16. Tell the truth. Gently. But don’t lie. Proverbs 24:26
17. Call at lunch to let her know you are thinking about her.
18. Bring her a cup of tea or coffee in the morning.
19. Tuck your kids into bed at night, every single night, even if she does it too.
20. Don’t try make your wife or kids perfect. Pointing out where they are still lacking will demotivate them. Be thankful and praise their strengths.
21. Buy her favorite ice cream, even if it’s out of your way to pick up.
22. Get a piece of paper and pen. Set a timer for five minutes. Write as many adjectives describing your wife on that piece of paper. Give it to her.
23. Ask her to teach you how to do your little girl’s hair.
24. Tell or text her, “I’m so glad you are our kids’ mom. You really know them.”
25. Treat your wife like you want a man to treat your daughter, and your sons to treat the mother of your grandkids.
26. When she says you hurt her feelings, say, “I’m sorry, help me understand,” instead of arguing with her.
27. Be generous with your time, your money, and your affection first with the people who matter the most to you – your wife and children.
28. Take her hand at church during worship or prayer.
29. Be quiet when getting ready so she can sleep.
30. Get her a membership to a new clothes service, like Stitch Fix. There are similar services for shoes, handbags, sunglasses – pretty much everything! Even if it’s only for a month, she will enjoy the experience.
Looking for more ideas? How about one for every day of the year? Check out this book: – 365+ Ways to Love Your Wife When Your Kids Are Young – to have something you can DO each day of the year. Buy it by clicking below.