Do you ever look around the house at the end of the day and think “What DID I do all day?” as if somehow the perpetual swirling of life, and time, and events has erased the memory of exactly what does go into each moment of your day?
And so you, like me, hope that when your husband gets home, that he’ll see something, notice something, that went on in that house today, beyond the kids still being there and the remnants of food proving every one was at least offered sustenance, even if they didn’t partake.
Listen, it’s really no secret that intentional moms are busy all. day. long. regardless of what the house or the kids look like when they get home.
And really, it’s not even so much about the recognition as it is about the intentionality of showing our husbands love by keeping our home in a way that says “Welcome home, baby. We’re glad you’re here.”
Years ago, when I was still flailing about trying to figure out this mom and home and business thing, I would proudly stand in front of something I accomplished each day and wait for my husband to notice all the hard work that went into it.
Whether it was a mountain of laundry that had vanished or a floor that had been rid of the embarrassing amount of crumbs, I hoped my husband would notice. And, if I’m being honest, not only notice, but tell me how great I was.
Strangely enough, if there were still dishes all over the counters or stickiness on the table, he couldn’t see what I had done.
Both of us were frustrated.
It took some time but finally I asked, probably in a totally non-emotional and super cool wife moment (uh, yeah, right) what it would take for him to notice what I was doing all day.
And his answer surprised me.
See, all this time I had focused on stuff, that, surprise, surprise, I was good at or was important to me.
Which made me miss what was most important to my husband, and would be, surprise, surprise, what he was most likely to notice.
So I asked my husband which three things in our home he would most like to see accomplished each day. 3 is a manageable number. And by doing the things he most cared about, I knew he’d notice them and feel loved. This is like a super win-win.
My #1 secret to welcoming home a happy husband.
Once I asked him what three things he’d like me to focus on in our home each day, I felt a little invincible. Let’s not pretend that my chest had somehow become bullet proof or even that I actually got all three things done on any given day. But knowledge is power. And once I had the knowledge I felt empowered to knock it out of the park.
My husband’s 3 main chores he’d like to see done each day are : no dishes in the sink, counters and tabled wiped, floor swept. So SBMOG pretty much only cares if the kitchen is clean.
This is good info. Because when it comes down to a mountain of laundry or the dishes, it helps to know that the dishes will show my husband love. When it comes down to everyone’s sheets getting washed or the kitchen floor getting swept, I can show my husband love just by sweeping the floor. Literally the rest of my house can look like Hurricane Heffner just passed through and as long as the kitchen is clean, we’re good.
He feels loved, appreciated, and like what he cares about matters to me.
I feel like a rockstar because I showed my husband love in a way that he’s really able to receive it, because I prepared a welcoming home environment for him, and because I met a need of his.
And you can too…
Go on, ask your husband which 3 household chores he’d like to see done each day. And then make it one of your daily priorities to get them done. You won’t get it each and every day, so give yourself grace, and then try again.
Especially if your husband’s love language is acts of service, and really, even if it’s not, this will speak to him in a way that I don’t know if I can really put into words as a woman. It’s probably the equivalent for me of when I get to drink a hot, fancy coffee while eating a delicious GF brownie, and getting to sleep until I wake up naturally. Yes, it’s THAT good.
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