Have you ever heard the same song for approximately the 493rd time and suddenly, BAM, it hits you – this new way to look at it. It’s like God put it on the radio and opened your heart to a whole new way of hearing the same thing.
It happened to me.
And maybe it’s because God is teaching me a lot about looking at marriage as I take this step and work with this ministry. And maybe because every moms’ group and Bible study I go to, I keep hearing things He’s placed on my heart. And definitely it’s because of this post about guilt.
But before I share the song with you and what I heard, I’m going to tell you what I learned.
I think when it comes to The Respect Dare and “doing” respect in our marriages, we have two major steps to take.
The first one is a step in our own faith walk. We realize that God has a unique calling for us wives. He calls us in Ephesians 5:33 to be respectful – that’s how our husbands hear love. This isn’t our natural tendency, so we thrash and fight it. Until God gets a hold of us, we can’t see that respecting our husband, is worship to the One who created us. So the first step is to realize who we are trying to please – God or our husbands – and move forward from there. We have to keep our eyes on God, and listen to His voice, still and strong, calling after our hearts. This will probably be an active thought at every encounter, every conversation, every day for some time. And that’s ok. It’s a journey.
The second step is equally as difficult, but equally as beautiful. We realize that in that same verse in Ephesians, God calls husbands to love their wives. But He doesn’t give us a formula for how to make that happen. So this step involves realizing and knowing and believing that no matter how much we respect our husbands, that he may not always act lovingly back toward us. And that is a deep hurt. Top that off, then, with all the women in our culture clattering around us with what we should do or say or act based on what they’ve done which they’ve based on the world and not on the One. We have to keep our eyes on the goal before us – to be holy and glorifying to God in our marriages.
Have I peaked your curiosity yet?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpWozyQ2QH4
Listen with your eyes closed and try to picture what I’ve talked about above.
First, God has a unique call for Peter – to get out of the boat and walk. All (as if it’s so easy) Peter has to do is keep his eyes on the Lord. Our first step in this journey, is to start to walk. Baby steps, big steps, leaps, running, crawling, crying – to the Lord as He directs us in how to respect our husbands. But it won’t be easy. Waves will come from every direction, distracting us, scaring us, taking our focus. It will be a stumble-y and hard walk. But God doesn’t ask us to do it alone.
And know that the Voice of Truth will speak into our hearts to feed us in ways that no one else could.
The second part, David stands before Goliath with an unlikely weapon. But because he is following God’s plan, he has success. We, too, have something seemingly impossible in front of us. And what comes naturally to us (love like we love) isn’t what we’re supposed to use – it’s a different tool – respect – that God has placed in our hearts to get through to our husband. And (especially) if our husbands are unkind, or want to “test” out this new respect thing, they might seem like a giant, laughing at us and our struggling attempts. Bringing up past hurts and failures. And all around us are the other wives “shaking in their armor” [I picture either the fear before trying it themselves or the chatter of women who know everything but don’t model the behavior].
But that Voice of Truth breaks in again, reminding us that His ways are not our ways. Giving us strength and encouragement to make it through.
God gives us the tools we need and the words when we seek His will in our marriage.
It won’t always be easy. It won’t always be pretty. And we won’t always get it right.
It will hurt to not get love back from our husbands when we are working so hard to get things right. It will seem like we’re doing all of the giving and getting nothing back.
But God’s ways are not our ways. If they were, no one would seemed surprised at how the walls of Jericho came down. Or that a shepherd boy defeated a giant with a single stone. Or that a man could walk on water. Or that a Father would sacrifice His Son so that all of His children could come home with Him.
God’s way for us wives in marriage is respect.
I’m so humbled to be here blogging about this. I’m so excited that you are here reading what God is putting on my heart. And I’m so blessed to know that there are other warriors out there, fighting for their marriages.
Awesome read!