I said last week that I’m already at a point in my marriage where I can’t necessarily remember the reasons why I married my husband. I’m in the middle (or just the beginning?) of this incredible smudge that really is making it hard for me to put edges on time and space and memories. I think it has to do with exhaustion, breastfeeding, two kids, a business, a ministry, and o yeah a husband. And that’s just on a slow day.
I know you know. I know you’re there too. The coffee is a higher priority than the breakfast some days. Ok, most days. Or is that just me?
So here’s what I’m thinking (and trust me, I’m so one of those people with all of these great ideas and a lack of follow through but this one is important).
What if this week, after reading this, you and I worked on not only thinking of 5 reasons why we married our husbands that were true the day we got married, but what about 5 more for right now? And then, update it on your anniversary each year.
You can share it with him, or not.
Either way, when your memory fails you from sleepless nights and long days and waves crashing in as you come close to drowning – there it is.
Already waiting for you.
I know, I know it sounds like one more thing.
I had every intention of writing my kids letters for their birthdays each year and putting them in their baby books or somewhere to give to them at their wedding or when they left for college or something.
But my daughter will turn 3 in August and nary a letter has been written.
Does this mean I failed?
Dropped the ball, sure. But failed? No. I can always pick the ball back up and get started again.
Same thing with our husbands, ladies.
Maybe you haven’t thought about it in years or months or days that feel like years or months.
But what if today, you really thought about it?
Really thought about why you married him? And then how those characteristics have grown and why you are still married to him now? And write it down. To have something to look back on.
I already know that as a person, I’m reflecting a lot on my anniversary and thinking about these things anyways. I could just WRITE THEM DOWN.
I think we look around and there are about a billion awesome ideas on pinterest and we feel like we’re failing if we don’t do all of them or one of them or whatever.
You’re not failing.
You’re doing this anyways, trust me.
Just, maybe, write it down.
For example, I recently made my laptop password ilove**** thinking it would be all cute and stuff and you know what? It is I guess. But really, the times I need it most – like when I’m mad, I still have to type that. And it softens me a little. Or makes me not want to get on my computer. But it’s a reminder. Because I wrote it down.
Like I said, this is an area where I struggle too.
So I don’t know how I’ll do it yet. Maybe on here. Maybe on my google calendar. Maybe in my paper calendar/journal. Maybe in a letter to my husband. Maybe on a sticky note that I throw into our keepsake box.
Low stress though. Not something I want to worry over since there’s already a lot on my plate.
I know that I want my husband to rejoice in the wife of his youth, so what if I took the same verse, and applied it to my husband?
From Proverbs 5
18 May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the [husband] of your youth.
19 A loving [buck], a graceful deer—
may[ he] satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with [his] love.
What if this is how I can be intoxicated with his love?
I don’t know.
But I dare you (and me!) to try it.
I’d love to see what you think about this idea. Is it just “one more thing” or do you think you’ll try it? Share in the comments. I’m curious.
Be sure to check out The Respect Dare blogging team – Nina, author of The Respect Dare and Debbie, especially for parents of teens, tweens, and twenty-somethings, and you can subscribe to me in the sidebar. And connect with me on twitter @LeahHeffner and on faceboook on The Respect Dare community page.