Bottom Line: Don’t get so caught up in your own life that you forget to make your husband feel important today.
Disclaimer: As I looked up this week’s dare topic, to write about it during the probably few minutes I have left during nap time, my husband was home as a surprise. And since this wasn’t planned, I kept right on with my day. I got to the end of Dare 35 and read these words, typed them on the page and the *light bulb* realized I wasn’t making him feel important. I had even asked him a question and not really listened for the answer. So I stopped and went and made eye contact with him and talked with him for the remaining 20 seconds before he headed out the door. Just in case you ever read my blog and think I’m perfect and I have this all figured out, feel free to come back to Dare 35 and say “Yes, that Leah, she’s human too!” and it’ll be good for all of us.
Do you want to know why I love Dare 35? Dare 35 is so out-and-out relate-able to my daily life. Yours too, I’m guessing.
It’s like, the dishes never stop and someone always wants food so I ignore the laundry which I think just multiplies the longer that it’s left in the drier (and I think they eat socks for energy).
Then, there are these little tiny people who need you. Yes because they love you and also because they are helpless in some ways and also because they totally know how to get your goat, whether it’s by whining, throwing a tantrum, or using each and every potato in your pantry as a baseball (not that I have personal experience with this, but I heard it…happens…from a friend….right, a friend….).
And that man you married? Can you even remember the last time you felt close with him? And not when you both passed out asleep in the same bed, but like an actual connection either from a conversation, intimacy, or shoulder-to-shoulder time?
Here’s where I’m going to ruffle some feathers. Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you get to the end and you disagree with me.
I have found that more and more in our culture, kids are the number one priority in a family. There’s about a bajillion studies on how much it costs to raise a kid, and the best kind of schools, and which pets are best, and which chores are the best, and so on and so on.
It’s easy for kids to become the priority. When they are little, they are just so cute and adorable and they cry and they legitimately need you in a lot of ways to survive.
And in this season, sometimes, marriage can seem so super hard. And the harder marriage gets, the easier it is to find and take comfort from these little people who just seem to love us so much with their snuggles and cuteness and needs and wants and adorableness.
This cycle continues. As long as we let it. And I can’t speak for you, but I can speak for me. I can almost see the moment when the conversation is hard, or the days are long, or whatever when I have to say to myself “It is my choice to continue this cycle or I can choose to end it”.
One way to end the cycle? Today’s bottom line.
Don’t get so caught up in your own life that you forget to make your husband feel important today.
How can I make my husband feel important today? Could I add cheese to his eggs instead of the just the usual scrambled? What about 10 extra minutes of sleep before releasing the kracken, err kids, to wake him up? What about dinner while the kids watch some Veggie Tales so you can hear about his day without having to yell things like “Don’t put that in your sister’s ear!” or “The dirt on the floor is not a buffet!” (again, I heard this from a ….friend….poor friend…).
Heavenly Father, Thank you. Thank you for my husband. Thank you for my children. Thank you for enough to do and take care of that I rarely get bored. Sometimes I get my priorities so out of whack! I get caught up and look around and can only see what I need to get through the day. Or I put my kids’ needs above my husband’s. Remind me God, in the way that only you can, that my marriage is my priority, too. And not just with the energy that I might have left but as part of my heart of worship. I want my husband to know he is important. I need him to know he is important to me. Bless me in this effort Father. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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Here’s something I’ve started doing. Not really all that intentionally, but your post made me think of a change it’s causing in me. When I’m having a rough day, or feeling especially grumpy, or completely stressed out, in that moment I try to encourage someone. Sometimes I still vent. Sometimes I am utterly selfish in this moments, but for some reason one day I thought to myself “I am having a crummy morning, I hope they aren’t too so maybe I will encourage them just in case they are.” And a funny thing happened in the process. They were encouraged, but my heart for the day and my circumstances changed too. I don’t mean the stress went away…I just mean I felt better equipped to tackle it somehow. I know that seems crazy. But I’ve tried it a few more times and it’s doing something. For whatever that’s worth…