I struggle when it comes to the topic of modesty. Not personally in what I wear exactly, but more in talking about it. Because what is modest to me, may not be modest to you at all. Some people are more conservative in dress and some people are not so much. But is it possible to be less conservative in dress and still modest? There is just so much information and lines and rules and judgment I have a hard time stepping in and clearing up the fog. Mostly because I don’t have any amazing and divine revelations on the subject.
When I think about being modest, I think about protecting the assets that are meant for my husband’s eyes only. I also think : I’m a treasure whom God created to be BEAUTIFUL, and I want to feel beautiful. So I ask myself questions like:
- Is this outfit a flattering fit to my body type?
- Am I comfortable in this?
- Would my husband want to this to be a “for home only” outfit?
- Would I want my daughter wearing something like this?
- Could this outfit give someone else the wrong idea about me?
- Am I presenting myself as a woman of strength and dignity?
I just don’t think those questions can be easily answered across the board for ALL women. My views on dress have changed a lot as I’ve gotten older and matured and matured in my faith. [And yes, I have dress rules for my daughter that work with her body type and height as well as where she is in life. I have no doubt we have a lot of journey ahead of us in this area.]
What I come back to time and time again are these questions. Not because they’re special but they make me think.
This verse on modesty is really at the heart of these questions:
Proverbs 11:22 As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.
Also, I encourage you to check out this article on modesty. I think too often we judge others when we see them as “immodest” when it could simply be a matter of them trying their best in the situation they are in.
What about you? Do you have hard-and-fast modesty rules like strap-width or skirt length? Do you think less conservative dress can still be modest? Do you think it’s more about how women carry themselves or simply what they are wearing? What other thoughts do you have on modesty?
Would love to see your responses below!
And don’t forget about the giveaway! Just three more days!!
Kimber says
I have a very “modest is the hottest” mentality. I think for individuals, the rules can vary but when it comes to “dress codes” for church youth groups and the like, you have to be very specific in order to be consistent. I think we have to set uniform expectations in those type of settings. But I also think we can do a lot of damage in how we talk about modesty in the church. I know a lot of churches who have completely ruined women’s idea of being beautiful and instead shamed them into thinking their bodies were horrible, shameful tempters. Shaunti Feldhahn in “For Women Only” helps us understand how men think and that empowers us to make clothing choices that help them without shaming us.
Leah says
Kimber-
I always love the insight of your comments. I do believe that modest is hottest! And I think there definitely needs to be dress rules in place for events and places.
And I agree with you 100% about the modesty talks from churches and making women feel bad about their bodies. That’s what I was trying to convey in the post, so once again, thank you for clarifying something for me.
And yes to Shaunti’s book. Must read.
Leah