When my husband and I first got married, we lived in an apartment that we then thought was “so small” but was bigger than the place we live in now with two kids. Perspective is funny isn’t it?
But in the oh-so-small apartment where we started our married life, I would often come home and find little surprises. Usually, they were socks. Socks laying in various places where my husband had decided her no longer needed socks.
I won’t get into the nitty-gritty of the arguments that ensued over these socks. I’ll just fast forward to the realization that the socks weren’t the end of the world. He had his way of doing things and I had mine. And he wasn’t intentionally being disrespectful of my housekeeping (or lack thereof) but that he didn’t see it as a big deal.
Then I had a dear friend tell me that she had learned to be thankful for the socks from a widow friend of hers who missed her husband so badly she would do anything to pick up his socks again. [See Nina’s post on how she’d trade ironing for what she has going on right now. ]
So now, I try to be thankful for the socks. And you know what, I don’t even notice them as much anymore. Maybe they aren’t there as much or maybe they aren’t growing into a huge obstacle like before. Maybe both.
Here’s what I do know – I am valued and loved by my husband. You are valued and loved too.
So maybe the socks aren’t the biggest deal. Or the ironing. Or whatever chore it is that you hate doing.
Maybe none of the “chores” or acts of service that we do for our husbands are as big of a deal as we make them. Maybe they are an opportunity to serve in our own way and get a unique view into how our husbands serve us?
And maybe in the stillness of doing these chores that seem so mundane, so painful, so joyless – in those moments of (mental) stillness, we can learn more about joy, more about sacrificial love, more about Whose we are – from that still, small voice.
Colossians 3:23-24 23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.
How do you feel about ironing, picking up socks over and over, or some other task? How could you flip your perspective on its head? Would you share in the comments?
That same thing happened to me. The socks and the widow story! It changed my whole way of thinking!
Amy-
Me too! Perspective is a beautiful thing! God has a cool way of teaching us.
Leah
Leah,
Last night husband and I had a fight. We couldn’t find the baby’s shoes ANYWHERE. I had put them in the basket of the stroller on Saturday while we were out at the parish picnic and when they weren’t there days later we both assumed they had fallen out in the parking lot while packing up to go home. I was furious. Husband was the one to put the stroller away. I had told him where the shoes were. And if they had fallen out, why didn’t he notice? He decided to drive out and check the parking lot. The second he left the house my stomach sank. What if he gets in an accident and our last conversation is me yelling at him for his lack of attention? Our day-to-day stressors, our own agendas, our insecurities wear on all of us to the point where we end up damaging our actual valuables – the people we love. Is this human nature? Is it the weight of everything we can’t control? Or are we all being pushed to handle matters such as these differently, to issue grace and compassion rather than bitterness and hostility, to become a better version of ourselves?
Katherine,
More grace and more compassion are the best ways to become better versions of ourselves. You are so right. God is growing that in you or you wouldn’t recognize it.
*Hugs*
Leah