I got on facebook yesterday morning to start scrolling through the happenings of the last twelve hours. In my early morning haze, I noticed that the new Fifty Shades of Grey trailer was trending. I took a deep breath and though I’d have some time to gather my thoughts before I saw anything else.
And I was wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Shortly as I scrolled I saw shares and comments and statuses from people. My stomach started to churn. Before 8 am, the trailer had been shared more than 30,000x on facebook alone and have several thousand comments. Wives I know were putting statuses up and tagging their girlfriends in preparation for the movie premiere.
If you missed it was on the launch team for Pulling Back the Shades and did this review for those of you who want to know a little more about it. But here’s the gist: In our Fifty Shades of Grey (which I am not linking to because I am not going to encourage anyone to buy it) world, with all of the messages about sex being for our own individual pleasure is not what sex was created and designed to do.
Sex was created by our God who loves us to be a picture of unity and intimacy with our Lord. Yes that level of intimacy and one-fleshness takes WORK, VULNERABILITY, and EFFORT. But since when is the easy thing ever the most fulfilling thing?
I was thinking about the horrendous double standard that I talked about on Father’s Day and now see it being applied to marriages, especially in terms of erotica and porn. How is it ok for a wife to read erotica and watch erotica and brag about reading and watching erotica on facebook and elsewhere but if a man put porn up he would be burned at the stake for fantasizing about anyone but his wife? As a woman, I would be heart broken to know that my husband was choosing to look at and imagine women other than me. But by reading books and movies like Fifty Shades we are saying it is ok for us to do exactly that.
It’s all a simple plan from the enemy really – if God’s plan was to have strong marriages with strong men leading them and intimacy that mirrored the relationship He wanted to have with us, then the enemy just has to erode that.
Pit husband against wife in a crazy cycle of not loving and not respecting.
Have men put down and treated like children so that they either give up on being the leader, oppress others to get power, and definitely procreate little men who had no model for being real men.
Destroy intimacy and turning it into a self-centered pleasure-seeking activity.
We as godly women are called to make a different choice.
To stop disrespecting our husbands and learning how to respect them in a way that speaks respect to them.
And we need to stop destroying intimacy by looking for our answers on the topic from the world.
What if we (as a culture) put half as much energy into fantasizing about our own husbands instead of getting sucked into a world that isn’t real?
As you think about this question, I invite you to pick p your own copy of Pulling Back the Shades. Starting in September (we’ll let the kids get back to school) we’ll do a book club through facebook event. Be sure to like The Respect Dare on Facebook to have access to the event. We’ll read the book and discuss all kinds of great information before the Fifty Shades movie hits theaters in February.
Would you prayerfully considering joining me in this? If you’re in, leave a comment saying “I’m in!” and what you’re hoping to learn from this book.
To God be the Glory,
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