You knew it would change everything but you thought, eventually, things would get back to normal.
Only, they never did.
In fact, instead of getting back to normal, you’re constantly adjusting to new normals, over and over again.
Having kids is beautiful, and wonderful, and a huge blessing.
But it also means your marriage will never be like it was before you had the kiddos.
When my husband I first got married, if we wanted to go out to a movie on a Saturday afternoon, we did it.
If wanted to go to dinner at 9:30 on a week night, we did it.
If we wanted to go to South Africa for 5 weeks, we bought plane tickets.
At the time, I don’t even think we were all that intentional about having a date night or planning things. We didn’t have to be.
Now, with three little kids 4 and under, you better believe we have to be intentional to spend time together. It’s not as effortless as it once was in our little newly wed apartment.
But it’s more important now.
It’s not just about us anymore. It’s about all 5 of us. Our marriage directly impacts our parenting and that means we have to make time for it. Now. Not in 20 years when we’re on our own again. Now.
So how do we keep the romance alive?
How to Keep the Romance Alive in 3 Easy Steps
1. Weekly At-Home Date Nights
One night each week, after the kids go to bed, we do an at-home date night. There are so many great ideas for all tastes and types and interests by doing a quick Google or Pinterest search.
Our favorite date nights are: getting take out, making a dessert, making a fancy meal for just us, watching a show together, giving back rubs, playing a board game, or planning a dream vacation.
2. Monthly Date Nights Out
Right now, with three little kids and our budget, one night out of the house a month is what we feel like we can swing. We get a sitter, we do something, just the two of us. We try to do a balance of face-to-face time (coffee, conversation, relational intimacy) for me and shoulder-to-shoulder time (activities together without a lot of conversation) for him.
3. Yearly Getaways
Once a year, SBMOG and I getaway together. My mom keeps the kiddos and we have an adventure together. And by adventure, I mean we eat, sleep, and explore an unfamiliar place. When we’re in a baby year, we wait till s/he is eating some solids to make it easier on everyone. If our budget won’t let us getaway, the kids still go to moms and we stay-cation at our own house.
What do you do to keep romance alive in your marriage? I’d love you share it in the comments!