Today, I just want to share a little of my journey with you. But unlike every other day, I want to go back in the past and talk about how I came to be on this Respect Journey. If you are interested, you can look here and here for more on this story.
Not so long ago, I was a newlywed. I worked all the time because it’s what I was supposed to do as a first year teacher. My husband had a start up business. It was not unusual for both of us to be working at 11pm and then for one of us to finally mention that maybe we should sleep and the (often disgruntled) other half would follow.
By our first Christmas, we were pregnant and so surprised/blessed. If I remember correctly, we decided to get almost everyone books for Christmas. So I was on amazon, shopping away and I can’t even remember what I was looking for – but I’m sure in my very mature way of thinking, I was searching for something we could do together – because I wasn’t going to do something is he wasn’t going to do something. So I was looking at different devotionals and I started clicking through that thing at the bottom that makes suggestions based on what other people look at and buy in the same category. And I stumbled upon The Respect Dare.
Ok “stumble” is a little generous. I think God was calling to my heart that night, showing me something I wasn’t sure I could admit out loud and taking me in a path to find some of His truth.
You see, I didn’t know how to be married. Sure, I had a ton of examples in my life and some beautiful and faithful examples in my own family (thanks, Mom and Dad) but I didn’t know how to be married to my husband because I had never done it before. And while I think pre-marriage counseling is great and necessary, I wish ours had been a little more in-depth.
And all I knew to look for was something for both of us because it takes two people to be married and so we both must do all learning on the subject together.
Well, not exactly.
God had been working on my heart even before this to learn about men’s and women’s hearts and how they are different. It started withe reading Captivating and then Wild at Heart (both by John Eldridge) in college and seeing the ways that God created men’s and women’s hearts to both show characteristics of Himself and to complement one another. This is not a one-size-fits-all process. This means that my husband’s and my hearts complement each other in a unique way and that doesn’t look the same as other couples. (God’s cool in the beauty and uniqueness of His creation, isn’t He?)
Then I read Love & Respect and realized, for maybe the first time, that I had a huge responsibility in marriage through my words and actions; that they needed to not look like love to me, but love to my husband.
And at this time, I was craving so much some women who were married to just talk to and learn from. We didn’t have many friends where we lived and not many of our friends from college were married yet. Our church was more interested in us doing stuff with the youth because we were young and that didn’t leave us much opportunity to seek out older or more experienced couples.
So that night, as I looked through amazon and found The Respect Dare, I knew God must have a plan. I ordered it on my own account, so my husband didn’t even know I had it. I didn’t want him to know. I wanted to know first what God was showing me. I wasn’t ready to share.
Some of the dares were hard because I was surprised at how, if I was honest with myself, poorly I was doing in communicating. Some of the dares were hard because I still hadn’t told my husband and so I couldn’t ask for his feedback.
However, all of them were growing and fulfilling in incredible ways.
When I had completed the dares, I gave the book to my husband as a gift on our anniversary. He noticed a change in my behavior and I was pleased with myself.
And I honestly thought I was “done” and was good to go for marriage.
About a year later, I stumbled again on The Respect Dare page on Facebook. This led me to Nina’s blog and then to Debbie’s. I quietly followed for a while, then I commented a few times, then on every post. I even remember commenting once that if they were ever looking to expand their ministry to focus on a different demographic, I’d love to talk with them.
Time passed. I read everything, thankful for the encouragement, realizing more and more that it wasn’t 40 days and done, but a daily commitment to God’s will in my marriage.
Then Nina offered to give a copy of her book to pastors and those in family ministry. I told my dad and sister right away, so psyched to share this gift with them.
As it turns out, my dad’s copy kept getting lost in the mail. So I ended up talking to Nina several times via email.
Then I started blogging about marriage thoughts on my old blog.
Then I shared those with her and The Respect Dare community.
Then I joined a community of Respect Dare alum on facebook and shared the blog with them.
One day, Nina wanted to call me to chat about my blog. ME! A published author wanted to talk to me on the phone. Seriously, I geeked out guys.
During that phone call, we talked about a lot and then out of nowhere, I plucked up the courage and asked for what was my heart’s desire – work with this beautiful ministry called Greater Impact and talk to young wives and moms.
And that, as they say, is the way it was. As you can see, I have been included as a blogger and I’m still so humbled by this.
What I am even more humbled by is what this ministry is doing.
It is touching lives and marriages all over the world. What started in Cincinnati, Oh is now in over 151 countries! Women’s hearts and lives are changing through Daughters of Sarah and The Respect Dare. We are growing closer to God and to our husbands. This ministry truly is making a “greater impact” in the world.
And so now that I’ve shared my story, I want to ask you two things. 1 – pray for this ministry and those working in and with it that God’s truth would be evident in them. And 2 – pray for how God might be leading you to support this ministry. Currently we have a really cool opportunity to finish up the Daughters of Sarah DVD’s and are looking for some financial support.
I am humbled and honored to be on this journey with you. Thank you for sharing and walking with me.
-Leah
P.S. If you would like to support the ministry of Greater Impact financially, please click here.
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