Recently, a dear friend of mine posed a question to our ministry group. Out of serious bravery and amazing heart, she managed to type the words that so many of think but aren’t sure if it’s ok for us to say out loud.
Please tell me this is something that ALL mothers have struggled with.
I struggle with knowing how or if I love God more than my son.
The outpouring of love and wisdom that came from wonderful Titus 2 women was amazing. If you’re interested, (and the author’s allow it), maybe I’ll share all of the wisdom from the answers with you.
For now, the mom with the most experience on the Greater Impact blogging team, Debbie Hitchcock, asked me if she could take some time and write a response for all of us.
She’s not only been where we are, but she’s made it to the ‘other side’ – back to having no kids in the house.
I’ve broken her response into two parts – one today and one next week.
Sitting at my computer, this Facebook question began to haunt me. I know this woman, this new girlfriend, this unbelievable mother, this sister in Christ. She came to my house to spend a weekend with several other women at a Respect Dare Boot Camp. And I watched her, almost as if I was looking in the mirror at myself more than 28 years ago! You see, what I witnessed was her passion, underline passion–bold face passion, and love for her young son who had been left at home with her husband. This brave soul ventured out on a weekend without her son and she was hurting, missing him so, so much. It’s a mother’s love that can so easily dominate the center of our universe, if we choose to let it; but is it wise?
Here’s an excerpt of her question. Obviously, names have been changed.
While diving into Nina Roesner’s 12 Truths, I was reminded of a point made in Leah’s book club book last month. That is we are to love God more than our children. More. I’m praying for every ounce of grace and purity to come through me as I address this topic and let me start with saying that I whole-heartedly believe this is right, in theory.
Please tell me this is something that ALL mothers have struggled with. I struggle with knowing how or if I love God more than my son.
You see I have fallen in love with my son. I do not idolize him. I savor him. I witness his milestones. I instruct his behavior. I provide for his every want and need. I receive his kisses. Those sweet, sweet kisses.
You’ve been there, or are there, right?
Several years ago God built a passion inside of me to fight, to speak, to respect, actively, life in all forms. And then He made me a mother. I know that Joe and I have been given an incredible responsibility to raise Tanner in Christ. Our dreams for him are huge and I know that we can only be successful if we seek Him in the process.
The love I have for God is different than the surging rush I get with Tanner. I respect Him. I strive to obey Him. I fear Him. I am His child.
Is this more? Or, is it just different?
Do I sin when Tanner absorbs my thoughts, my cares, my priorities? Or am I honoring God’s choice by being a good mother, acknowledging His work and His doing for the life He’s given?
I’m humbly asking for your wisdom.
I’m so in awe of the fact that you are asking this question at such a young age! You are still in the early stages of parenting. You have years to work through the letting go process and much time to discover the surging rush of being with your Savior. Way to go! You are so very much on the right track in discovering how to be the mother God intends for you to be.
I too struggled with the issue of loving too much. You see, after eight years of infertility, God finally blessed my husband and I with our first son. I remember well those sweet, sweet kisses. I remember the heartbreak of walking out a door without him. I remember wanting to experience every waking moment by his side even if he was sleeping. I was so in awe of this wonderful new person that was becoming such an integral part of my life!
Thanks, Debbie, for taking the time to talk to all of us. Be sure to check out part two of this response next week.
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