I’ll admit – I have a slight fascination with the royals. I can’t help myself when there is a BuzzFeed or other compilation of pictures of Princes William and Harry and Duchess Kate. And when they release new photos of the adorable Prince George and Princess Charlotte, I can’t even. I whip my phone out and show my kids what a real life prince and princess look like.
I’ll admit, too, that I often think about what it means to be married and parent with a blinding spotlight on you all the time. No matter how an outing goes, there is commentary. Every outfit, hairstyle, behavior, look, glance, and word spoken is watched, monitored, and reported on. Everyone will have and will feel entitled to share their opinion. What you did right. What you did wrong. And there is absolutely no making every one happen.
As I’ve watched Duchess Kate handle herself with amazing poise and manners, I’ve also marveled at how her children behave when they’re in public. These are toddlers. Some of the cutest toddlers, I’ll grant you, but toddlers none the less. We rarely make it to church with clean clothes on all 5 members of the family and forget about getting a family photo where everyone is looking, let alone smiling. And these babies are doing meet and greets.
One day it occurred to me that if her children were not to behave perfectly in public, she would get roasted. Oh, how people would love for her to slip up and to not be a perfect princess with perfect children.
With the recent trip to Canada, this picture of Duchess Kate was published.
Moms the world over are applauding “the look” and loving how “every mom” Duchess Kate is.
Here’s what I’m wondering – would we support Duchess Kate in her hard role as a very public mother whether or not Prince George and Princess Charlotte are behaving perfectly all the time? Whether or not she’s back to her pre-baby weight? Whether or not she’s nailing it at every photo op?
Parenting is hard. Whether your audience is the old man at Target or the entire world, parenting is hard. And with technology moving so fast, all someone has to do is take a picture or video of a moment in your mothering and instantly it can be judged by the masses, especially if you made a mistake.
Because here’s the thing – whenever we see another mom, we see a snapshot, a moment when they are standing in the spotlight of parenting in public where suddenly they have to worry about what other people think and how they’ll react.
What if instead of storming social media with all the ways the other moms are failing, we applauded all the ways we’re making it and doing the best we can with what we have? What if we used the blindingly bright spotlight to highlight something a mom is getting right and encouraged her, build her up?
How are you extending grace to other moms when you’re catching glimpses of their lives and are tempted to make commentary?
The image used in this post is property of Getty Images and their Royal Photographer, Chris Jackson.
Oh geez, now that I have kids ages 7,4, and 18mos old, each with their own personalities, strengths and weaknesses and temperaments, I give mommy’s grace. And know I don’t have it all figured out either. No family is perfect and the more you get to know them, the more you see that every family has it’s drama.
Katie, you are so right. No family is perfect. But so many people expect people to be perfect when they see them. It’s a weird expectation when they know themselves they aren’t perfect. -Leah
Oh how I know the getting to church struggle. Four kids. Pastor husband. Just a leeeetle pressure. 😉 I think in addition to giving each other grace, we need to learn to give it to ourselves too. Be okay with not looking picture perfect and learn to put the focus on others and not presenting ourselves at every given moment.
Lisa, Being the Pastor’s family is hard (PK talking). You’re doing great! I know you are. -Leah