This past Friday, we had a rough day at our house. Between my exhaustion level and the kiddos not napping and as it turns out, my oldest waking up sick the next morning (so she was pre-sick?) it was a rough day.
So a movie night with popcorn was definitely in order. Shrek 2. Fun dinner. Relaxing evening. These are the moments I call #mommywinmoments. Hard days? Look for good, easy wins for everyone.
We have a green recliner in our living room and this chair is sacred TV watching space for my kids. They sit together every day and it is their dream as big bro and big sis to have the littlest lady sit in the middle and watch TV with them.
And usually when we have family movie nights, it’s Daddy who gets tapped to sit in the Green Chair with the big kidlets. So for them to ask me (let’s ignore the fact that SBMOG wasn’t home, K?) I was totally psyched.
And at the same time, not so much. At first I thought “no I’ll sit over here where I can fold laundry and prep some work stuff and sneak out to wash dishes”. This is because USUALLY during family movie night when it’s both of us, I’m up and down, baby, snacks, and the kidlets are soaking up Daddy time.
Then I thought “how much longer are they both going to want to sit on me for a movie? What if I say no to this simple request and it speaks a message to them that isn’t true like I don’t want to spend this time with them or that my to-do list is more important than they are”.
Seriously, y’all, I stopped, paused, took a look around, let out a deep breath and said “I’d love to sit with you, I’ll make the popcorn.”
It wasn’t easy. I almost got up 5 different times in 12 minutes. My living room – the rest of it you can’t see – is covered in toys and laundry. In my kitchen every pan I own is caked with something. There are no sheets on my bed. And my mom was coming the next day. But somehow in that moment I saw that I had two choices but they did not hold equal value.
This is me, trying, digging, praying to be present. On hard days, it’s so easy for me to hide in the kitchen, scroll endlessly on my phone, bark from my office chair, and just barely function above numb to make it through the day.
As I felt myself slipping and a flash prayer hit ‘God help me be present’. I don’t even know if I finished the entire 5 words of that prayer. I do know this was an answer to this prayer.
Take this simple request. Say yes. Hold and squeeze babies. Fight the urge to get up and “do” instead of just “be”.
No phone. No chores. No to do list. Just me and my bigs, watching a movie.
How are you seeing grace-filled growth in being present?
(Adapted from Instagram post on @LeahHeffner on 7/15/16)
Leave a Reply