I will be the first to admit that sometimes, I just don’t know what to say. In the past, that would mean I would just talk more and more. Now, I try to talk less, listen more, and just be there, really there.
This applies to not only my marriage, but to my other relationships and interactions as well.
I think this is why I keep coming back to this. I still don’t know what to say ABOUT it. So, with permission, I present it to you. This wife has been married for a few years and working on respect for almost 2 years. Her husband knows that being respectful is important to her. He is analytical but aware of his example of criticism and works to speak in love.
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He opened a bottle of some homemade fermented beverage. It was under pressure, and when it was opened, it exploded. On the cupboards, the counters, and the floor. It was sticky, and it was everywhere.
She quietly grabbed a towel and began to wipe up the mess. She told him that mistakes happen. She cleaned up the kitchen while he finished the other task he had been working on.
A couple months later, another bottle of fermented beverage sat on the counter. The pressure was getting too strong and the bottle started to whistle. So she grabbed it, and put it over the sink and opened it up. It exploded, but mostly in the sink. Some got on the counter and wall behind the sink.
Immediately, he asked her why she had opened it without thinking. Why hadn’t she tried something else to keep it from exploding.
She answered, calmly, and quickly, “Or you could have tried something more like: ‘We all make mistakes. I made the same one not too long ago. How about I grab a towel and help you clean up because it’s really not that big of a deal?’ ”
She then cleaned up the second mess while he thought about what she had said.
A few hours later, he came to her an apologized for not being kind in his response. He admitted that he could have chosen better words.
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We’re here to learn about respect. What are some things that she did well? What could she have done better? Is anything Biblical happening here? Is it over?
And if you want to see some more real conversations going on out there, check out Nina’s blog from yesterday.
shanyns says
I like that her reply was calm – I would be curious to know how he responded to her reply. It is hard to remain calm in a situation like that, knowing the first mess was huge, and yet she stayed calm and dealt with it. Good for her. I believe God can move in any situation. In my house if I had used that same reply it may have ended in an argument or an acknowledgement. Depending upon his mood and how he received what I was saying. I hope his fermented beverage experiments are over, at least in the house! ๐