My husband and I were in church shortly after we got engaged and the pastor preached on the book of Ruth. As he spoke of Ruth and what she did for Naomi he quoted from Ruth 1 a very well known and popular verse:
16 But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”
I nudged my (now) husband and I said “THAT! I want that in our vows!”
Months later, when it came to vow-writing time, we took a traditional set of vows and added this to the end. It wasn’t seamless, but it was beautiful and exactly what I wanted for our vows.
Shortly after we got married, my husband started his first business. I have learned a lot – tons and tons – about being an entrepreneur’s wife for the last five years. (None of which is actually spelling the word “entrepreneur”. Thank God for auto-correct.)
And for the last year, I’ve really tried to figure out how to write about being an entrepreneur’s wife. I think it’s a really interesting dynamic and definitely has helped me strengthen my respect muscles. But I haven’t been able to figure it out – mostly, where to begin talking about being the wife of an entrepreneur.
But tonight, that changed. Tonight is our weekly scheduled date night which is pretty sacred ground as far as family time goes. And with vacation last week and an actual date-date on Saturday, I knew he needed some extra time to work. So I offered him our date night time.
His response didn’t really surprise me (at least it doesn’t surprise me anymore) – he asked if I could work with him, in the same room.
I answered, “If you work, I’ll work.”
Immediately my brain was flooded with this verse I love so much from Ruth. Everything about my husband being an entrepreneur is there – literally and figuratively.
Where you go, I will go. We’ve moved 5 times in the 5 years that we’ve been married and we haven’t quite figured out where we’d like to put down roots. This last move took us 3 states from where we both grew up to start a new business and to be hands on with a ministry we are both passionate about. Where you go, I will go.
Where you stay, I will stay. Right now, that means being content and building a life where we are . We don’t know when we’ll go on to the next phase so for right now, we’re staying. And some day that will mean roots and “the house” we raise our kids in. For now it’s being content and joyous where we are. Home is where my family is with me. Where you stay, I’ll stay.
Your people will be my people. His people, his family, my family. Some of our biggest cheerleaders and some of the opportunities for me to get to see my husband in a whole new light are when he is interacting with his people. Who are now my people. What a blessing. Your people will be my people.
Your God, my God. Some of the most rapid spiritual growth I have experienced has come during the years I’ve been married. I think part of that is learning how to do this thing together, how to raise kids, spend money, and more. It’s also because marriage is one hot crucible for making the yucky stuff rise to the top. I’m thankful that we are spiritually joined and that we are able to see our marriage as a ministry. Your God, my God.
Where you die, I will die. I don’t know if in 75 years, we’ll die geographically in the same place. What I do pray, though, is that we will have died sharing and living out what God put in front of us to do, together. Where you die, I will die.
And now for the one that started this thought process tonight : If you work, I will work. My husband has a lot to do to run his own business and be his own only employee. He works 6 days a week, different hours and doing different things. In the last 5 years, this has meant us both working until 12 or 1, me walking in the door and getting the baby so he could work till bed time, scheduling nights to work after his corporate job, and lots more.
Sometimes this means sacrificing spending time with me in a face-to-face kind of way. You know – talking, dreaming, lots of interaction and touching.This doesn’t mean we don’t have that time, we do! Sometimes it’s just different.
However, it gives us a lot of opportunities to spend shoulder-to-shoulder time together. You know – being in the same room together, doing similar activities, without talking but just enjoying being together.
If you work, I’ll work. Learning about this shoulder-to-shoulder time has been really great for the high-intensity seasons of entrepreneurship we sometimes go through. It’s given me time to appreciate him and what he does, how hard he works. And I have learned to get stuff done too – picking up our room, folding and putting away laundry (my nemesis), reading a book, or blogging.
It also gives him my green light, again, the reassurance that I’m on his team and I want him to be successful. That I know this is just a season for us. That I know it won’t always be like this.
I know that we won’t always be in a place and season when the two of us can be working at the same time, in the same place. And that’s ok.
I’m going to enjoy it now. I’m going to enjoy the space and time we have in this season to spend my evenings shoulder-to-shoulder with my husband.
Are you the wife of an entrepreneur? Or a hopeful entrepreneur? Are there questions you have or tips you have for this time of your life? Leave them in the comments!
I added this post to this link up.
My husband and I also had this added to our vows. Such a powerful promise! I love your perspective.
Debra, that is so great! I really love that verse and man, do I love the book of Ruth. I think there will be a lot more I could add to the list over the next 75 years of marriage. That would be great.
We had this sung at our wedding. Thanks for the reminder!
I am the entrepreneur. I am the freelance writer and contractor for several companies. Some times, the work load is heavy and I have to give it more of my time. It’s hard for my husband. His love languages are quality time and physical touch. As I have to work more, those things get less time in the forefront. I wish, wish, wish he could be as adaptable as you, but he does support me and I have to remember that he came before all of this. I suck it up, spend the time to make him feel loved and then I work early in the morning or super late at night.
Rebecca, I am also the quality time and physical touch love language at our house. And I would not say I’m adaptable just that God has taught me a lot in and through this situation. God grows us all at different rates amirite?
Nancy, My dad sings it sometimes…usually when I’m talking through a wedding sermon idea. Haha #pkproblems
This is wonderful. I’m married, but separated. I needed to read this today. God knows! Here from Grace and Truth link up.
Great to see you here, purpleslobinrecovery! Thanks for visiting.
Welcome.