I know I have talked before about how men are portrayed in the media and how it’s not doing us any favors really and we need to take a look at the message we’re sending our men.
But what about the message we’re sending our women?
I could go on and on about the promiscuity of women on TV and in movies. I could talk about the lack of commitment from couples in those movies and in real life and discuss the ramifications for our daughters in their future.
But what’s really on my heart is not that. Not today. Today, it’s the TV mom.
And not Carol Brady.
But more like Deb on Everybody loves Raymond. Or worse, Ray’s mom.
Actually the show that got me thinking of this is The Miller’s on CBS on Thursdays. I watched 2 episodes and cannot stop thinking about the mom in this show!
Not only has she badgered and dictated and puppet-mastered the family in their youth and childhood, she is still doing it WELL into their adulthood, into a failed marriage, into her own failed marriage.
In fact, her husband leaves her and she is STILL telling him what to do and how to live and everything.
She asks someone to fake their death so that she can properly influence her family.
Obviously, I mean control.
No, manipulate.
I really don’t like the word manipulate. It has such a negative connotation that I feel like it should only be used in the most extreme of situations.
And this is one.
So because this is how God has wired my brain, I immediately jumped to “What is THIS teaching our daughters about marriage”? I think our culture has taken a quiet but definite shift from showing men as bumbling baboons that need some (to put it gently) female help and encouragement to ultimately overcome their shortcomings, to out showing women who are puppet masters of their home and husbands and children because clearly they are the only ones who can get it right.
We could have a million and one discussions about what is on TV, what it is showing our children, and us, and how it’s shaping our thoughts.
Instead, I would love for you to share in comments how it makes you FEEL to know that this is the perception of women and to know what you individually are doing to take a stand on this.
How are you being a Titus 2 woman?
There are a lot of shows that portray women both well and very badly. Some comedies take it to extremes for their idea of a laugh, and some dramas do the same for dramatic reasons.
My husband loves comedy. I’m not such a fan. One show we enjoy is Modern Family – there are comedic licenses taken but through all their foibles and follies, at the end, you see loving and respectful marriages that are somewhat real. I get that. Wives are put into categories by media – That 70’s show has a few VERY stereotyped 70’s wives, and some of us remember. The drama The Good Wife doesn’t really show one, does it? I haven’t watched it enough to know. I do know she isn’t a Biblical Good Wife.
Wives, mothers, daughters, sisters – women. A lot of how we see ourselves, and how others see us, is in our response to media representations – the shows we talk about, the movies we like, the books we read.
Who represents a Titus 2 woman on TV? Miss Kay comes to mind. The other young wives on that show try very hard, I believe and are faithful women. Two of my favorite TV geeks – Penelope Garcia and Abby Schuto.
My personal stand on how women are represented is to challenge stereotypes about women – all women. And challenge them about our men too. Talk about them, share on social media. Write, create, and pray. Don’t be a cookie cutter woman!
A little over a year ago I quit watching television and after a few months my husband said I don’t think we really need cable anymore we could just watch netflix if we want to watch something. This doesn’t seem like a big thing but we were a family that if someone was home the television was on. My daughter and I use to watch the Kardashians and I found myself being drawn in; Teen Mom, John and Kate plus 8, etc. What I found was that it didn’t matter what was happening with the women and how they were portrayed I was being sucked into the situation. That is what really made me stop and think. These are characters, even if it is reality TV, it’s not real. It has NO bearing on my life and my focus needs to be on my family. I need to spend this time with God and developing my relationship with him and working on my familes “issues” not being sucked into what is happening on the television. I have to tell you that I didn’t read my Bible everyday, I have been raised in the Church and a Christian for years but I didn’t walk it in my daily relationship with God. Since turning off the televison I have had time to read scriptures, complete my bible study lessons, talk to my husband, grow closer to God and develop a real relationship with HIM that has helped my marriage and family life immensely. The media is interested in retaining viewers and they will put on ANYTHING that gets viewers and increases their advertising income; they don’t care how anyone is portrayed on television. The only way it will change is if we turn off the programs that are not done with our values and ideas. I don’t want to sound like I’m on a soap box because I have nothing against television I just decided that my life and my families life was more important to me than the Kardashians! My only regret is that I didn’t do it when my children were little so that I could have spent that much more quality time with them. I love reading your blog and truely appreciate your incite. It has also helped me when trying to see things from my daughters perspective.
Thiis came across Fb from Covenant Eyes. Food for thought…http://intoxicatedonlife.com/2013/10/18/beating-porn-punch-5-tips-talking-young-kids-sex/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_content=2359981
Like ninaholt, we don’t have cable/satellite at our house. I couldn’t afford it when I was a single mom (and we had lived without it on and off since I had children) and the same for my husband as a single dad, so when we got married we didn’t even bother. We’ve had netflix for 2 years and love the availability to watch shows we enjoy (especially without commercials) but honestly the only time we use it is after the kids are in bed and a couple of nights a week. I’d like to say it was a “moral” decision but ….
However, when I see television shows at various places and even on Netflix I am shocked by the acceptable. The teen boys decided to watch Everybody Loves Raymond not long ago. I typically go to bed early and my husband is on the computer in the same room with the boys so it was probably several weeks before I actually watched a show. I got very angry at all 3 of them for finding it humorous. Unbelievable how the men were stupid and the women were manipulators, just like you described. I refused to be in the room if it was on and then after a few more episodes that I “happened upon”, I decided it was time for a conversation. The next available quiet time with just my husband I brought up the show and how I felt, especially in regards to the lessons that I am striving to learn about respect. I pointed out several things that I’d heard on the show and reminded him that our own home was nothing like that, and suddenly he didn’t find it funny anymore. He redirected the boys onto a new show and I haven’t heard anything else about it.
For me, the best examples that I can give my daughters are the very real people in their lives. As God is changing me I am looking for ways to talk to my older daughters about how I wasn’t always a good example for them and I apologize and pray that they see the difference. Because we are a blended family we strive to make our home a peaceful example of family love and take opportunities to gently point out how God is leading us in different paths than even their other parents.
Just like not all Mom’s are called to homeschool (I am not for the moment, though I have in the past), not all families are called to get rid of television. For me, I am so thankful to not have to worry about media in that area for my daughters and for myself.