This dare is all about how we can encourage our husbands. Obviously the knight statue as a gift was pretty clever.
But I’ve been thinking about this (and frankly meaning to blog on this) since Father’s Day.
You know, a lot of Father’s Day sermons in this country are “Men, stand up and be better men. You’re not doing enough as fathers, husbands, friends, or at your job. Now, man-up!”
On average, $180 is spent on a Mothers’ Day gift, where $110 is spent on a Fathers’ Day gift. (This were numbers featured on my local news station.)
There was even a commercial this Fathers’ Day, criticizing dads for the pants they wear.
And this got me thinking :
We would NEVER say this to a woman on Mothers’ Day. Or ANY day for that matter.
It is simply not acceptable to do this to a woman.
“Hey, mother of a newborn, you are blowing it, you know. Your clothes, gross. And your hair, ew. And for that matter, your baby acts that way because of you. Step up mom. Be a better mom.”
“Hey mom. I know you just cleaned your house from end-to-end, baked cupcakes for school, chaperoned a field trip, and ran all of the house hold errands, but you didn’t quite do enough. Maybe next year you’ll get it right.”
“Hey mommy. I wish you played with me more. I wish you read to me more. I wish you were like Billy’s mommy. Then you’d be a better mommy.”
No, not one phrase like that would be uttered to a mom in the public arena.
Mothers’ Day sermons are always about how wonderful our moms are and how much they do for us.
And dads, not so much.
I know we talk all the time about how men are displayed in the media. And we live in a sinful and fallen world which the media is run by. Sadly, our men will be put down as Satan works to destroy marriages.
But in our churches? What message should our men be getting from the pulpits?
And therefore, from their wives and children?
We, as a generation of wives, need to stand up and say NO MORE.
We need to find ways to encourage our husbands for the good things they ARE doing, just like WE want so badly to be encouraged in what we are doing.
If you heard even a hint of one of those phrases from above, wouldn’t you feel crushed?
Do you really think your husband is any different?
So encourage. Look for the good. Say it. Shout it. Write it. Give a gift. Make a gesture. Do SOMETHING.
He needs so badly to have encouragement from you that he IS the kind of husband/dad that he is working hard to be.
Celebrate the victories big and small with and for your husband. Your knight. The man you have decided to join and do life with.
Then share in the comments what way you chose to encourage your husband!! The more ideas we have from each other, dear sisters, the more ideas we will have to use on our own husbands!
Jim says
Leah, you are absolutely right. And I would go one step further. Even if you think he DOESN’T deserve it, tell him how wonderful he is on Father’s Day.
Here’s what you can tell him: Tell him how proud and grateful you are that he always provides for the family, and that he is a real man in your eyes, because real men provide for their families. That will do more for him on Father’s Day than all of the neckties or shirts that you want him to wear, er, that you can give him! ๐
Leah says
Jim-
You are right in saying even if he DOESN’T deserve it. Because none of really deserve anything – it’s all grace. And we get to extend lots of grace to our husbands and fathers of our children which is a cool gift.
-Leah
Aixa M. says
Love this article, Leah! Double standards… Men need just as much encouragement as women do. In fact they crave it from their wives. I haven’t been the most encouraging wife in the past (although I have been on Fathers’ Day). But encouragement should b for every day, not just Father’s Day. I am learning that I need to speak into my husband’s life, be his friend… I don’t want to criticize him but encourage him and show him we are doing life together. Many times we (women) take the “mother knows best” approach too seriously and end up undermining our husbands’ role as fathers. Not nice. Thanks for speaking into our part as ‘encouragers’ (I may have just made up that word! Lol) for our husbands!
Leah says
Aixa-
If you made up the word “encourager” I want to be one. Awesomesauce.
-Leah