If you are almost married, newly married, or just had a baby, you will inevitably hear this question:
How many kids do you want to have?
I really don’t like this question. There are a lot of reasons why this question rubs me the wrong way – it takes away from the joy of the moment, people always ask it with either a knowing, pitied, or nosy tone, it’s not other peoples’ business – but the biggest reason is:
IT’S NOT UP TO ME.
There, I said it. Glad to have that off my chest.
Now, hear me out, before you just stop reading. I don’t want to make this political, or personally attacking, or overly emotional. I know the topic of kids and therefore, fertility, is a touchy and difficult topic. But hear me out.
Five years ago, if you would have asked me these questions (I use 5 years because I was 21 and awfully young and also my (now) husband and I had just met), I would have said “I’d like 4 kids – so a big family but not too big and no middle children because I’m not doing that to MY kid (I’m a middle child) and probably have them about 5 years after I get married, but I need to have one by the time I’m 30.”
I wasn’t even married. This wasn’t even a talking point. I certainly hadn’t discussed with anyone – not even God. This was MY answer. MY decision. MY way.
A year and a half later, we were engaged. We attended pre-marriage counseling with our pastor at the time. And inevitably, he asked both of these questions. I know why pastors ask these questions in pre-marriage counseling – they want to make sure the couple have discussed it and are on the same page.
But it doesn’t deal with the truth of having children. Pregnancy is the result of sex. Couples may have miscarriages. Infertility issues. The desire to adopt. A lack of knowledge on what the Bible says about having kids. A lack of discussion with God on the topic.
Now, today, I’m not going to go through every thing the Bible says about having kids. Please know that I’m already praying about this post that may or may not happen in the future. Right now, I’m sharing my story. I know it’s getting long, so I’ll get back to it.
We had discussed it, and how we were not going to use hormonal birth control for 2 reasons. 1 was that it has abortive qualities. 2 was that we were working to combat auto-immune diseases in both of us, and couldn’t see that putting in artificial hormones was beneficial to that process. In our session that night, we looked at each other, kind of hem-hawed, and said “We’d like a big family, but the number isn’t up to us. And we’ll probably wait five years.”
After our session that night, I sat down with my sweet (then) fiance and started crying my eyes out. “What if we never have kids? I feel like I poured my heart out to God, begging for what my ministry would be in this life and He told me I’d be a mother and what if we can’t have kids?”
My sweet (now) husband, looked at me and said “If God has put it your heart to be a mother, you will be a mother. You will have babies. Either they will grow inside you, or we will adopt them. No matter what, we can always be a safe place for kids to come to and be a parent-figure for kids who need them. If God has put this in your heart, He will not abandon it.”
And with that, I knew however we became parents would be beautiful and painful and we would be able to share Jesus with our children – however they would come.
Still, the idea that we would wait five years was in there.
When we found out we were pregnant by our first married Christmas, “surprised” is a safe word to use.
And now, married 3 years and 6 months, we are blessed with two beautiful babies – a 2 year old girl and 3 month old boy. I have spent approximately half of our marriage pregnant.
I’m thankful that God is blessing us with children. And I’m learning so much about His family plan.
The “when” and the “how many” are not up to us. If I had had my own way, I wouldn’t have EITHER of these joys. I would still not even want to talk about “getting pregnant” for another year or so. And by then, I would have missed 3 +years of watching these little ones learn, grow, and develop their faith. Silly me. God knows better.
I still get asked about how many kids we’ll have. My answer is always the same “We are happy to raise whatever and however many children God decides to bless us with.”
And no one asks when anymore. When people hear we have 2 kids, they quickly assume I’m in my 30s. When they learn we’re in our 20s, the look on their face tells me that I must have sprouted another few heads.
We KNOW that what we are doing is not what is normal in this world, but if you read the opening story from Nina’s blog yesterday, you’ll see that we’re supposed to do things differently than the world does them. (And by the way, I encourage you to read the whole post.)
Now, here is what I would like to point out – God has a way of teaching all of us different things, at different times, and in different ways. It is certainly not for me to judge other people and how they’ve chosen to plan their family – the number or the timing.
But I would like to make a suggestion – for ALL married ladies reading this, but ESPECIALLY if you are in a stage of life where you are being asked this question a lot.
Talk to God about His plans for your family. The number. The when. The how if you are worried about or experiencing infertility (or if, like us, you want to adopt). Talk to your fiance/husband. Pray together. And pray separately. Search the Scriptures. Read Christian books on marriage and parenting and family (2 suggestions of ones I’ve read are below.)
This is not a decision to hold on to tightly. This – having and growing a family, raising children that God entrusts to you, to raise to know and love Him – is no small thing. Prayerfully take it to the Lord and give it to Him. IT WILL NOT BE EASY. We have so many options today. But give it to Him. Then read more. Study more. Discuss more. Pray more, more, more. This is an ongoing discussion in our household. We are always wanting to listen to what God has to say about this.
I write this as an encouragement – not as a new burden, a new grief. I have found so much joy in seeking God’s will and timing on this. It is so awe-inspiring to be a part of the process of “bear fruit and multiply” from Genesis 1:28. I know, I know. You want to be “just married” for a while. You have school to finish. You don’t have enough money. You don’t have a house. You don’t have your dream job. You haven’t traveled enough. The list could go on and on.
I dare you to think about your own “family planning plan” and be honest with yourself about how much control you still want/need over it. I will be honest that I still have to check my motives, my desires, and my timing and ways with God. And I dare you to ask questions. To search. To pray. To share here your thoughts on planning your family plan. I know that what I am saying might be a HUGE monster step for you, but what is God calling and leading you and your husband to do in this area? Are you ready to find out?
**EDIT** Forgot to include the books.
Visionary Marriage by Dr Rob and Amy Rienow
Start Your Family by Steve Watters
Well said and beautifully written, sweet Leah. Last time we were with family we were asked the question of “how many.” Immediately I responded at least two or three, possibly with one adopted. Afterward, I felt rather ashamed. Our belief has always been to accept and cherish what God provides, – no matter how many munchkins that entails – but in the moment I was concerned with our financial state and geared with the notion of wanting “to provide.” Too often we are consumed with the fear of wanting to do it all and have it all and I’ll admit that I still get caught up in that idea. I think it’s important to surround ourselves with wonderful friends and family who can remind us of our real purpose when we feel we fall short. Thanks for being a wonderful woman of God and sharing your wisdom.
Leah Heffner says
Katie, thanks for your comment. I think you speak about real concerns we all have. And I appreciate your honesty. What a great reminder to all of us! Love to you.
Lois Ramirez says
Being a mom, grandma and great grandma, I can look back and smile. I didn’t plan my oldest daughter. She was born thirteen months after we were married. We were ecstatic……but I might add, ‘careful’ for the first year of her life.
You guessed it! Nine months later, with our oldest twenty two months old, our second daughter arrived. Things were tough. We were financially strapped, I was suffering from deep depression and anxiety issues and we decided that two were enough.
Our plans worked well for about six years but then God stepped in and brought our third daughter into our home. We were NOT elated, but accepted His plan despite the fact that I was looking forward to both girls being in school all day in the fall.
Through this ‘oops’ child, we have learned so much. My older girls adored her and were so proud to show her off. My depression and anxiety issues ebbed. I still struggle at times, but God has given me the strength to overcome when things get rough. Through this child, we were also given the gift of a beautiful grandson who has taught this family the true meaning of unconditional love. His autism is a blessing in disguise.
We are also blessed with four other grandchildren and a step granddaughter as well as a great grandson with another due in December! God is good. He knows what’s best for us and His will WILL be done, despite our protests.
So, as I sit back and reflect, I can’t help but smile and say, “thank you, Lord, for the blessing of children.”
Leah Heffner says
Thanks Lois. I love the perspective of looking back and seeing the blessings!
Darla Dalton Robbins says
I am a mother of four and very proud of that. I feel that being a mom has been my greatest achievement yet. My husband and I were 24 when we married. I had just graduated from college. I was 28 when we had our first daughter. My mother had had ovarian cancer at 30 and had a hysterectomy. So I had put this age limit that I needed to have my children by 30. I was 29 when I had our son. My husband had a vasectomy after he was born. Then a few years later he had a change of heart and wandered why we had decided to only have 2 children. We both agreed that we wanted to have more. So he had a reversed vasectomy done in May of 2002 and in October we were pregnant with our 3rd daughter. Then I had decided that if by 35 I had not had one more I would have my tubes tied. In December of 2005, five days after my 35th birthday we had our 3rd daughter. We were kind of hoping for a second son, but it has worked our well for our two younger daughters. They are like best friends being so close. I went through a lot to get all of them here. My hormones, or eggs or whatever didn’t want to do anything naturally. I had to take a little bit of a fertility drug called Clomid and monitor my temp and everything in order to conceive. Once I was pregnant I would have hyperemesis gravitum, which is extreme nausea, vomiting and dehydration all 9 months, with all four pregnancies. When it was time to go into labor, my body would not do it naturally, so they had to induce all of my pregnancies. Each gift was worth the agony I suffered to have them. My mom would say if you knew it was that bad why would you keep having more? I told her because the reward was so great. After my last baby I had my tubes tied and a week later I had congestive heart failure due to postpartum cardiomyopathy. I was told that I would not be able to have any more children or it could cost me my life. I was grateful that I had got to make that choice already on my own. My youngest had a hole in her heart that we did not discover until she was 6 years old. She had it repaired a year ago and she is doing wonderful. Today she is going to her first GT class at school. God has blessed me with wonderful healthy children. All the more reason for me to set a good example for them and teach them about Him. I give Him all the glory for all that He has done for me and will continue to do for me. May He bless you all with the desires of your heart!!
Leah Heffner says
Thanks Darla! Praise God for your babies.
Things I learned on this subject:
Prayer is the answer, just like you said, alone and with your spouse. God alone has the answer for me.
……………My Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name.
Family planning is ALL about Faith. If you want a measure of your faith meter, let God speak openly to your heart in this area and then read your temperature.
……………Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Number of children has NOTHING to do with a paycheck. Every child added to my life has brought that twinge of anxiety because all of my resources were fully used at the time – and then the child came and the provision was always there.
……………Give us THIS day our daily bread.
Judgement is loud in this area. The grocery store clerk, the in-laws, the other children – they all voice an opinion. I still love them all and can smile and thank them for loving me.
…………….Forgive my sins as I forgive those who sin against me.
Society here in America pretty much caps the number of children; hormonal birth control is expected and highly recommended as a “medication” for other symptoms, even in our young non-active teens. My need to provide private rooms for each child, designer clothing, a cell phone, laptop and a college tuition weighs on me from before conception.
……………..Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil!
Each child in my home is being raised to know Christ and I pray that he/she also knows the power of His resurrection. They are not MINE, they belong to Him, He graciously allowed me the gift of rearing them here on this earth to prepare them for their eternal worship of Him at Home. Every trial I face (sickness, discipline, financial, social) is another possible jewel for the crown that I will lay at His feet.
…………….For the Kingdom, the Power and the Glory are His.
I strive to live my life here in full surrender to Him (though I fail moment by moment). Fertility left in His hands allows me to take my hands off of it and trust Him.
…………….Now and forevermore.
Leah Heffner says
Wow, Katy, this is cool. You’re cool. 🙂
Really really really great !! Thanks so much Katy!
Thought you might be interested in the book my son recently released that discusses many thoughts related to this topic, including the abortifacient aspects of hormonal contraceptives. (Yes, a bit of a shameless plug, I know – I’m a proud mom!) It’s titled ‘A Protestant Critique of the Contraception Debate’ by Austin Tallman. It’s available from Amazon, as well as several other retailers. http://www.amazon.com/Protestant-Critique-Contraception-Debate/dp/0989760405/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1378828034&sr=1-1&keywords=austin+tallman
Leah Heffner says
I might be interested in that. thank you!
What if God isn’t calling you to have children that you raise in your home? So many people overlook that God may not have this plan for us–but instead, may have plans for us to interact and intercede with others in ways that we could not if we had our own children. Yes, I’m married and have been for 10 years. My husband and I are prayerfully on the same page, but struggle with Christians questioning what we feel is God’s calling.
Leah Heffner says
Susan, I have no idea what God is calling you and your husband to do. I’m so glad you are listening and trying to discern that. I know there are lots of couples who do prevent pregnancy and still do not have biological children. God has the same command for them – to be fruitful and multiply – but it might look a little different in how it comes out.
For me, this means that I have a 17 year old I’ve taken under my wing. She is like my third kid, but she doesn’t live with us and now lives far away from us. But I still love her very much, pray for her, and talk with her often.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power…”
I’m glad you are here.
We have one when the ‘experts’ said we would have none. It could have killed us both because we were in trouble and no one really noticed or listened to me. My husband and I love our son. We are also blessed that we have one where he and I are both alive and healthy. Sometimes it isn’t just a matter of how many, or the monetary cost, but the physical cost on a mother’s body. I know a few young women from religious backgrounds who have child after child, knowing it is killing her body. To leave those children with out a mother is a cost too high, wouldn’t you think? Her duty is to multiply but I don’t see where God asks us to birth until we die. We don’t even do that to livestock so I would humbly submit that because we do have will and can make choices that the number of babes in our arms should also be considered against the health of the mother to raise those babies she bore under her heart.
God blesses us with the ability to prayerfully make choices, and those choices should include our mental, spiritual and physical well being. Just as Nina’s post brought with it a discussion on birth control and abortive measures, I would suggest that we think a bit like farmers and when we are looking at the ‘bear fruit and multiply’ that we remember everyone gets a rest from their labours – even animals and fields. Or we would die. And no one would bring in the harvest, raise the babes or parent them to the place where they can walk with God on their own.
Bless you Leah, I adore your heart. This is a GREAT post, and I only bring this up to enrich our discussions.
Leah Heffner says
Shanyn, I appreciate your comment. All I can reiterate again is that my post was meant to say that God needs to be considered and talked with when making decisions on life – on any life.
With my last pregnancy, I sat at 13 weeks pregnant and 25 years old, as an ER doc told me this could be my last baby and I cried and cried. The baby wouldn’t make it impossible for me to get pregnant, it would make it unsafe.
Fortunately, the ER doc was way off in his diagnosis and we have nothing to worry about, only God’s will to pray about.
I think you are so right that health and well-being need to be considered. I thank you for commenting. -Leah
I commented yesterday on Nina’s blog. I spent my 20’s having babies. Back then we referred to the leaving of number and timing of children up to the Lord as “quiverfull”. Today I am 38 with 4 children. My youngest was born just 7 weeks after my 30th birthday.
This is new for me, commenting on blogs 2 days in a row! It must be the topic. It is a topic I spent over a decade struggling with. I wanted to share some encouragement with other women that might be struggling like I did. Of course, I also had a really hard “respect and submit” lesson in this too.
So I shared yesterday that I threw away “the pill” just before my wedding night and we ended up celebrating our first wedding anniversary with our almost 3 month old. But I didn’t just throw out the pills, I submitted my life to Christ and specifically the timing of how ever many children the Lord wanted to give us.
Fast forward, we have 2 children a month shy of 2 years apart. I started to experience what would be 5 years of chronic health problems. I was (mis)diagnosed by numerous doctors with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Epstein Barr Virus, Fibromyalgia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Acid Reflux, and more. I was sent to one doctor after another, suffering extreme arthritis type pain, then found out I was expecting #3. I spent that pregnancy unable to keep food in my body. I gained 15 pounds that pregnancy and gave birth to a 9 lb. healthy boy. My body began to shut down. I didn’t even realize it at the time. I thought I was a bad mom when I couldn’t produce any breast milk. I would crawl when I couldn’t walk to take care of our newborn and other 2 kids. I was wasting away. Friends began to notice my sickly appearance. It was after my son’s first birthday when I was finally given the answer, a disease that occurs with severe food allergies. My body had been attacking itself by mistake. My stomach and small intestine were so affected, I had not been absorbing nutrition properly for a long time. That same week I had another surprise, another positive pregnancy test. The fact that I had even ovulated to be able to get pregnant was a miracle I would figure out much later. Turns out my body had been shutting down non-essential functions, including my reproductive system. But at the time I was simply terrified for this child and my own health. When the specialists in the field of my disease found out I was pregnant, they gave us the grim prognosis that my body would suffer permanent disability and the baby would fail to grow and survive. We were advised to terminate the pregnancy. However, God had a different plan. May 20, 2005, we were blessed with a healthy 9lb. 8oz. baby boy. It took several years to fully recover, but I suffer no permanent disability from my pregnancies (unless you count some stretch marks and a bladder that doesn’t like sudden jolts!)
I not only struggled physically, I was wrestling with questions about my faith and my trust in God. I wondered if I could keep trusting God (and keep that option of having more babies) in His hands. I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t play with my children. My oldest son was worried about his sick mommy. It was heartbreaking. I felt guilty for having them, I felt guilty for not having more. I realize there are a lot of other moms & dads in the same heartbreaking place. It might not be a physical illness. The details don’t have to be the same, but the emotional and spiritual turmoil are familiar. One reason I am sharing this story, is for anyone experiencing a similar dilemma to know you’re not less than, or weak in your faith, or weak period for having those questions. I can’t say what your answer will be. It might be putting a temporary hold on having more kids while bodies, minds, and spirits heal. It might be that God gives extraordinary peace and renewed strength to continue in the conviction to not put anything in the way of having more children. I just wanted to be one voice that conveys grace. I missed that – a lot – during those years. Not that God does not continually and abundantly extend His grace, because He does. Often we miss it, we reject it, and we listen to other voices, to condemnation. But there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. I hope this reminds you of the amazing grace Jesus has for you, not only for your salvation but to cover every little nook and cranny of your life.
The other reason I share this story is because of what happened soon after the birth of our 4th child. My husband did an “about face”. During those years, he was a student of reformed theology. He described himself and his beliefs as thoroughly Calvinist. He was firmly planted in the “quiverfull” camp. One other important fact about this period, he did not have a personal relationship with Jesus, and I knew it
So this is the “respect and submission” part of my story. As I wrestled with whether or not I was fully trusting and submitting to God in my willingness (or lack thereof) to put my body through more pregnancies, my husband abruptly changed his mind. Our youngest was 7 months old when my husband decided he would be getting a vasectomy. There was discussion. I was honest with him. I gave him my concerns about my health and ability to mother the children I already had, but also my hesitation to make a permanent decision. I shared my faith questions and my desire to do what God willed, not what I willed. Then I told my husband that I would respect and submit to whatever he decided. I put my faith in God to lead my husband. It sounds crazy to willingly follow the lead of my unbelieving husband in such a crucial decision, but I was placing my trust in God to lead me, protect me, love me, and fulfill His plan for me. Could I trust the Creator of the universe, the great I AM, the one eternal, true God, to lead the man He had given to me on the path He had planned for him? Yes. Was it easy? No. I prayed and prayed. I prayed the day of the procedure that if it was not God’s will, let it not be done. I cried. A lot. I grieved the thought of no more babies, even in the midst of the overwhelming fatigue of caring for them during failing health. I was sad. My husband came home. It was done.
A lot has happened since that day. My husband became a believer. We have gone through some really rough stuff. We have shared our thoughts and feelings about that day, that decision. My husband acknowledged his motives were selfish. He was done. He was tired. But even now, even though his motives were not “pure” he feels the decision was the right one. I praise God for that. Even though I have had some days of doubt and sadness, I always come back to His grace and peace. I praise God for that. I have no doubt in God’s sovereignty, that He was leading us through that day and many others. I have no doubt that He heard my prayers and He answered them. I have no doubt that I did what God told me to do – To respect and submit to my husband’s decision and to trust God’s love and plan for us both.
An awesome promise God has given us is “I will never leave you nor forsake you”. Wow. He promises His presence – His complete, undivided, perfect, loving, all-powerful presence to YOU for every millisecond of your life here and for eternity! Isn’t He wonderful? Be encouraged if God is calling you to respect & submit in difficult, uncertain, painful circumstances, that HE IS THERE. You are following His lead, you are putting your trust in Him, and He will honor that.
Thank you Leah for posting more on this topic that has given me fresh insight about God’s goodness and faithfulness. Praise Him.
Leah Heffner says
Angie, this is an incredible story! And I thank you for sharing it. I’m glad to see too that you emphasized prayer – not only in the arena of family planning but also in submitted to your husband. -Leah
I have been married for 5.5years and have been blessed with 7 children (4 miscarriages and 3 here on earth.) When we first married we wanted to wait a little while before having children but when i went on the pill it made me really sick and i also didn’t like the possible abortive properties so i went off it and we decided to just see what happened and let God be in control. I was pregnant 2 weeks later but miscarried. 2 weeks after that i was pregnant again and 2 weeks after our first anniversary our son was born. He suffered from extreme reflux and screamed almost non stop the first 10 months of his life. 22 months later we were blessed with a daughter. (I had another miscarriage between this time). Our daughter suffered from severe food allergies (FPIES) and was an extremely sick little girl up until 18 months of age but still suffers from allergies now at 2.5years. After another 2 miscarriages i got pregnant with my now 11 week old daughter. She also has FPIES and a lot worse then her sister! This is very common that each sibling gets progressively worse. So having more children is a hot topic of conversation and prayer between my husband and I. We feel that it is unfair to bring more children into the world that are going to have to suffer so much and it has been so extremely difficult to deal with. Right now i am a mess from sleepless nights, a constant screaming baby and trying to run a household and care for 2 other children. I also think that God wants us to be responsible in our family planning. If we aren’t coping and the whole family is suffering it would be unwise for us to continue to have children. Especially seeing as i get pregnant so quickly and i have awful pregnancies with severe morning sickness half the way through and then i always suffer from high blood pressure and migraines. I’m hoping we can find the right answer for us soon.
Tasha, Your situation is so similar to my own, you are on my heart. Do you have family or friends that can give you an opportunity to rest? Just some proper sleep, some quiet time for prayer, can help so much. I will be praying for you as you seek God’s will on your family size that He will lead you and your husband to the best decision.
I thought I had it all planned as well. I wanted to be done having kids by age 32, wanted 3. Haha. God showed me that His ways are so much better than mine. I learned that giving up that control would result in His perfect plan. I am now the proud Mama of 8 great children, and grandma to twin baby girls. The last of mine was born at age 44. I’m so glad I listened to Him.
I can relate to many of the things that have been shared. Before my husband and I were married I didn’t ever have a specific number of children in mind that I wanted to have, but thought that a couple would be nice. He thought he would like ten. I said I didn’t know about that, but we will see. We were married when I was 19 years old and we now have 8 children and 2 in heaven. Some days I really miss the 2 that miscarried. After we had had 5 pregnancies, with one loss, I had been sick too, many of the same things Angie shared. Some of the same details even. I was very sick and depressed, worn out by 10 am in the morning after 12 hours of sleep. My husband and I talked about not having any more children. I talked with every Pastor I knew, I talked with many doctors,etc. We decided together that we were too young to decide anything permanent and for a short time either abstained during certain times of the month or used condoms. This was not something we preferred and did not like how we felt about it. It didn’t feel good in our gut and (I can only speak for myself) I felt guilty in some ways. We decided to stop that. We got pregnant with our next child and I honestly was not happy. I cried and cried. My doctor knew all these things about me and she said that all the symptoms I had been having often when they come on from a pregnancy, they disappear with one. I prayed a lot. There was nothing in the world that would have convinced me to terminate the pregnancy, but I was very overwhelmed. When he was born, I got better from all the symptoms I had been having within a short time. Like I said, we now have 8 and 2 in heaven. I have thought even recently what wonderful gifts they all are to me. I never would have thought I would have so many blessings. Thank You Lord for them.
I was married at 20 and my husband and I were not walking with the Lord.
I had decided at 19 after being on the pill my stepmother put me on at 15 that I no longer wanted to put that into my body. We had talked some about having kids and among my deepest desires I had always wanted to be a mother, but our marriage was a total wreck and so neither of us wanted to bring children into the mess unsure if we were even going to stay together. We both came from broken families and didn’t want to put anyone else through that. A year and a half of marriage later we were done. We were decided on divorce, but God! Praise God! He lead us to a conversation with my husband’s mother who had been divorced twice, she shared on these experiences and then said something that cut our hearts, “don’t kid [deceive] yourselves, you cannot do this [marriage] without God.” Then we began to realize something, our marriage was like this because we were doing things our way. So we decide to chase God and do things His way, His way is always perfect! This was a miraculous 24 hour turn around. So many beautiful things began to happen, there isn’t a way I can write them all but we experienced His grace, mercy, rebirth in Christ Jesus, miracle after miracle in every area of our lives! Then when we thought this couldn’t get better, we found out we were pregnant! We had been preventing pregnancy in a pretty unreliable fashion before coming to know Christ but gave our fertility over when God convicted us both to trust Him with our fertility too. We’d already seen the goodness he works so we did and oh my the beautiful reward! A month before my 23rd birthday I became a mother to a precious little guy! How I wish I could share all the details I’ve left out of this novel of a comment! We are now expecting our second blessing to arrive in November. And we lost a child in between. All I can say really is God is good, His ways are perfect and don’t let anything (no lies of the enemy, no misplaced priorities, nothing!) keep you from prayer or reading His word. It is the connection and basis by which our Father nurtures and grows us! I encourage with this last statement because I often fall into the trap of the enemy believing his lies that God doesn’t care about what I pray about or doesn’t answer only to later find myself gasping for air and starving of nourishment! Pray pray pray and read the words He has written for you, I’m saying this to myself too friends! ♥