Does any one else look at Proverbs 31, and see a to do list, something else to make sure that you are doing?
Good not harm…EVERY day?
Wool and flax…sewing, crafts, food, creative food?
She gets up…early…earlier than everyone else…even if the baby had her up all night?
Real estate?
Gardening? Farming?
And work…it’s diverse…it’s fulfilling…it’s profitable.
Soup kitchens and food banks.
More sewing.
Awesome, respectable husband.
More business.
Strength, dignity, and LAUGHS at days to come.
Speaking, leading, influencing (and she hadn’t even read Titus 2 yet).
Manages her household.
Blessed. O so blessed. Blessings pour out.
Inner beauty from walking with the Lord.
And this is just one passage in the Bible that speaks to the role of women and wives. Just one. We could make a general list (and Nina has if you are following along in your own copy of The Respect Dare, Dare 3) to go and do a “fitness” check against.
But if you’re a mom to wee lads and lasses, *sigh* don’t to-do lists just feel overwhelming? Just like there’s so much to do? Just like how-can-I-possibly-even-add-just-one-more-thing-and-still-pee-let-alone-sleep-ever?
On the Proverbs 31 list, there are 15 different topics that are mentioned. 15. But you know what the passage doesn’t mention? If she had little kids.
Now I’m no theologian, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say Mrs. Proverbs didn’t do all of this each and every day (except for the bringing her husband good and not harm part, because it says so). I’m going to add that this may not have all happened in one season. This may have been the progression of her life as a godly woman.
First, let’s acknowledge that God knows EXACTLY which season He has you in. If that means that like me, you are in the most days I’m-so-tired-coffee-no-longer-affects-me-but-it-affects-my-breastmilk-slept-6-hours-but-was-up-twice-and-the-toddler-climbed-in-bed-AGAIN-and-kicked-me-till-I-snapped-and-got-up part. It’s hard. I know. It’s probably the most grueling physical and mental challenge I’ve ever had – and I used to consistently sleep only 3 hours a night when I was 21 and teaching an hour from where I lived.
Please know that God has so much grace and so much love for you. He knows right where you’re at. He’s holding you. And He knows that some days you will have to choose among using your five free minutes to be in the Word, in the shower, or taking a nap, and that sometimes you need to choose the shower or the nap. He knows. And His grace is overflowing for you. He is holding you and sustaining you through each day.
But please also know this – He will and does beckon your heart for more of Him. He does want you to be a respectful wife to your husband, a blessing of a mom to your kids, to take care of your house, including cooking and cleaning and maybe some other tasks. He wants you to take care of others and to find something constructive to do that doesn’t just involve your household.
So if you see a to do list here, don’t get discouraged yet. Because I have some ideas. These may not work for you, but I am actively trying them out and have been impressed with the success I’m experiencing.
-Start small. Find ways to spend time with God. I would really prefer to do this first thing in the morning in a quiet house with no body around. But that is not my current reality. I get jolted awake at 5 by a screaming baby and I can hardly focus my vision let alone inwardly digest the Word so I wait till both my kids are down for naps. Sometimes this is all I’m able to do before one of them wakes up and it kills the rest of my to do list. Sometimes that’s just the way it’s gotta be. And if you’re looking for other ideas on how to spend time with God, I did a post on it before and the comments had some great additions.
-Start small. When I first felt like I wasn’t getting anything done all day, my husband encouraged me to make a to do list with only 3 items on it. They were the priorities. If I got other stuff done, great. If not, there were 3. And if I got nothing “done” we’d look at our little girl and marvel over what a joy she is/was and how I was so blessed to stay home with her.
Now I use a similar idea. Only I write my to-do list at the beginning of the week and divide it out over the week. I do cooking stuff one day. Phone calls another. Work another. Etc.
I also have developed a pretty simple cleaning schedule – something that I can actually maintain and also not go crazy if I miss a day. So I have a room a month to really deep clean. I have monthly, weekly, and daily check list tasks. I have daily rooms to generally clean. In the 7 weeks since starting this, I have not completed one checklist. I’m totally fine with this. Because I am starting small. Currently, my priority is to unload and load the dishwasher and do the dishes. Once I do this every day without fail for 2 weeks, I will add another area to focus on.
By starting small, I get to experience a lot of success and nothing becomes overwhelming.
-Start small. Wait, didn’t I say that already? But as true as it is in housekeeping and quiet time, it’s also true in working and helping others. And why do those have to be separate? And does it have to be production or could you clean out surplus toys, books, or clothes from your house and take it to a charity? You are working and not being idle, you are helping others, and you are teaching your family to help others outside of your own house. This goes for a meal, or a play date, or vacuuming a friend’s house, or shoveling the neighbor’s snow, or paying the drive thru tab for the person behind you. So what do I do? Well we recently downsized our home and so we downsized our stuff and a local charity received a lot of donations. I teach Sunday school which my daughter attends. I will help with vacation bible school. [These are two things I will be at anyways, so why not help out?] I blog and encourage other mommies (like you 🙂 ) in their marriages and parenting.
In each of these areas, is there more I could do? Absolutely. But right now, in this time and place, I am serving how God asks me and how God is growing my heart.
I really don’t want you to look at Dare 3 as ANOTHER thing on the to do list. ANOTHER day of failure.
Instead, look at it as an opportunity to learn about grace and to learn about what God really would have you do with your cramped time. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I loved Making Room for God in Your Hectic Life to help straighten some of this out for me. I actually found it encouraged me to be more organized in my tasks so I would feel freer to play and wander and be with my kids, even though that sounds a little backwards, even to me.
So today’s dare is simple, my dears. How can you start small? How can you look at each of these areas and start small?
Will you share in the comments?
-Leah
So hey, I would just love it if you are a regular reader if you would subscribe (see the side bar). You can also follow me on twitter @LeahHeffner and join us on facebook. If you want to be encouraged in your own journey through The Respect Dare check out Nina’s blog and Debbie’s blog.
And if you are a blogger, check out our Dare 3 link up (go to the bottom of the post)! It’s open all week!
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