We were just wrapping up dinner on a balmy Memorial Day weekend. When everyone else was having BBQ food, we had just finished up some homemade Lebanese food. The men were building a fire and the kiddos were playing happily. I turned and looked at my new friend.
“I really feel like we all hit it off – all of us,” I said, fidgeting in my chair.
“Yeah, this has been so fun!” she replied.
“I feel like I need you to know right now, up front, that I’m a super awkward friend maker. I don’t know the rules. I come on too strong. I know I’ll call you before the three days. O wait, does that apply to friendships or just dating? See, I don’t know anything. But I like you and I like hanging out with you. And I’m ok with my weirdness because at least this way you know what you’re getting right up front and if you choose to keep being my friend there won’t be any surprises. What do you think?”
(Awkward laugh.) “You can call me before three days, I wouldn’t mind. I’m not really sure how to do this either.”
And with that was borne one of the most delightful friendships I’ve managed to culture as a mom.
If only I had read Women Are Scary sooner (although, that’s not possible as I don’t have a time machine and I read an advanced copy as it is – release date March 24, 2015), I would have known the correct way to not awkward sauce all over my friend.
I would have known the four bases of mommy dating – hanging out during the kids’ shared activities, neutral locale hangout, at-home playdate, and one-on-one mom-date.
As an awkward friend-maker myself, I found it refreshing to read something so laugh-out-loud-read-quotes-to-your-husband-while-you-snort-laughing about something that can be as challenging as the mom-lationship.
I even tweeted Melanie that I loved her book so much, and could we skip to third base friends. (That may mean that once again, I skipped some steps. O well, maybe I’m hopeless.)
I could quote so many things that she said, with a lot of “Amens!” and “Preach it sistahs!” The way she quotes Friends and Psalms while talking about the smell of her mini van just makes me feel like I walked into her living room on a totally normal day to do some life.
And that’s what we’re all looking for in our mom-lationships – people I get to be the real me with – Leah, who quotes too many movies, binge watches Netflix, spends most of my time in the kitchen, will make myself right at home, including unloading your dishwasher, and who likes to share and get in there right in the thick of it and talk through life and needs to learn to listen better.
Women Are Scary will make you laugh over and over, stir your heart as you think of your mom-lationships, and be thankful that we have the gift and the encouragement to walk through life together.
I’m grateful for all of you,
P.S. I’m thinking I’ll add this to the Read, Pray, Love list or that I’ll do a weekly book club on it after it comes out. What do you think? Are you going to pick it up?
**I received a book to review from Family Christian Bookstores. The opinions are all my own.**